Kidnapping Fun
by XxNeonShadowsxX
Summary: Never kidnap a speedster and a ninja together, even if they're in their civvies. It won't end well. For the kidnappers.


**A/N **So yeah. Never kidnap a ninja and a speedster together, even in their civvies. I can't stress that enough. Total crack, probably a bit unrealistic, but I can still see them doing this. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer **I don't own Young Justice, chloroform, white vans, Pokemon, or any other "irritating" song you might see in here. Basically, anything you recognize, I don't own.

~Aiva

* * *

Dick frowned, staring at his textbook absently. He wasn't actually paying attention; he knew half of the equations in this book anyway. Instead, he allowed his mind to drift, the teacher's voice becoming an irritating buzz in the back of his mind. "Mr. Grayson!" the teacher barked harshly, eyes flashing angrily. Dick's blue eyes focused, and he tried not to make it too obvious how close he had been to falling asleep. "I don't tolerate _sleeping _in my class!"

"Yes ma'am," Dick responded immediately, voice smooth and reassuring. "It won't happen again." He put on his best "humble" expression, hoping that would be enough to get the teacher to leave him alone. "Then you won't mind solving this equation?" the teacher asked, raising an eyebrow as she gestured towards the board. Dick's eyes narrowed slightly as his brain quickly calculated the answer. He opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off as the bell rang. The teacher frowned as Dick's face lit up, the teen quickly slipping out of the door, weaving his way through the crowds expertly.

He slipped through the large doors, searching for the familiar vehicle. Spotting it quickly, he slipped inside. "Hey, Alfred," he greeted cheerfully.

"Good afternoon, Master Richard," Alfred responded, glancing back at Dick. "I'm certain you'll have all your homework done before leaving for Master Wally's tonight?"

"C'mon, give me a little credit! It isn't even that much," Dick said. "I'll finish it, easy."

"You can finish it up Saturday evening when you return," Alfred responded without missing a beat. Dick noticed the amused look in the butler's eyes, and an easy smile slid onto his face.

* * *

"So…what do you want to do?" Wally asked.

"It's your house," Dick responded simply, head hanging upside down off of Wally's bed. "You decide." It wasn't often this happened; Bruce rarely let Dick out of the manor, much less out to sleep over…in _Central City. _However, a month of pleading and nonstop puppy-dog eyes had its rewards, and Dick was finally able to spend the night at Wally's house. Unfortunately, both of the boys had somehow gotten bored…which was also a rare occurrence.

Wally sat up. "Let's walk around some, see if we can come up with something," he suggested, glancing outside. Dick shrugged, flipping off of the bed easily. "Sure," he agreed. Both teens raced down the stairs, Wally easily ahead of Dick; not only did he have super speed, but his legs were quite a bit longer…Dick was just short, frankly. A fact he did not appreciate.

"Uncle Barry, we're heading out!" Wally called over his shoulder as he raced out the door, pausing for a moment to catch his uncle's response.

"Be back by six, or your Aunt Iris will kill me," Barry responded easily. "Have fun, kid!"

Once out the door, Wally was forced to slow down some; Dick really didn't want to have to run/jog all day. "We could go see a movie," Wally suggested. "There's this new horror film out-"

"Seen it," Dick responded, shooting a sideways glance at Wally to see the redhead's reaction.

"It came out _yesterday," _Wally stressed, staring at his friend.

"I saw it about a week ago," Dick replied, smirking as Wally's flabbergasted expression became more pronounced. Torturing the ginger really was a lot of fun.

"Well…_I _still want to go see it," Wally huffed.

"The guy's girlfriend gets her face eaten, and when he tries to kill the zombie for revenge, his girlfriend comes back from the dead and eats his brains," Dick said quickly.

"Dude!" Wally shouted. "What does the term "no spoilers" mean to you?" he asked.

Dick just laughed, and soon Wally was laughing along with him. "We could go see a-" Dick began, but was cut off.

"No! No more mysteries! You always solve it in like, the first five minutes, and spoil it!" Wally interrupted.

Dick grinned. "Action?" he suggested instead.

"I was thinking comedy," Wally said hopefully. Dick snorted. "Whatever you think is comedy, isn't," he responded simply. Wally glared at him, and Dick cackled.

"I guess-" Wally was cut off as Dick's eyes narrowed. "Keep going," he hissed, looking back subtly. Wally stiffened, but tried to act as normal as possible. As he continued to talk, Dick began to whisper quietly. "Two guys are tailing us…three now. Been following us since we left your street. They're closing in…" he quickly said. Wally's first instinct was to turn around, and that's what the impulsive speedster did. He quickly caught sight of the three rather large men, who sped up immediately.

"You're not supposed to _turn around,"_ Dick groaned, resisting the urge to facepalm even as he sped up, blue eyes scanning the area quickly for an exit.

"Well, sorry!" Wally snapped, not really irritated, just a bit concerned. Why would anyone be tailing them? It wasn't like – Oh. Wally glanced at his best friend. Ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne…right. That would do it. "_Another_ kidnapping attempt?" Wally guessed as they both broke into a run.

"Probably," Dick responded, letting Wally take the lead. He knew the neighborhood better, after all.

"Dude, you need to have less money."

"Seriously, Wally? I don't think that's the problem right now."

"Well, they wouldn't be chasing us if Bruce wasn't so rich!" Wally retorted.

If Dick wasn't so busy running from a bunch of thugs, he would've face palmed. "We can argue about this later," he said. Wally nodded, speeding up a little. Unable to use his super speed, he was forced to run at a normal pace. Plus, he had to stay with Dick; it was him they were after. "Don't you have a plan for this or something?" Wally asked. Bruce was always paranoid when it came to his little bird; he had probably come up with a way out of every possible scenario for these types of situations.

"Yeah," Dick said quickly. "Run."

"Oh." Wally grabbed Dick's hand, pulling him forward. They were stopped as a stereotypical white van pulled up, the lack of windows in the back and tinted glass up front tempting Dick to roll his eyes. Clichéd, much? That was the van used for practically every kidnapping scene in every cheesy action film.

"Crap," Dick breathed as they skidded to a halt. Wally stepped in front of the younger teen protectively, a big brother instinct swelling within him. They were quickly surrounded. "Looks like little Richard is far from home," one of them leered, stepping in closer. Wally's green eyes flashed angrily, and he pushed Dick further behind him.

Dick just rolled his eyes, though his fists were clenched. He couldn't see a way out of this that wouldn't require his Robin skills…meaning he was trapped. Crap. "Stop wasting time and grab them!" a voice from the van snapped. Wally and Dick would've fought, but both of them quickly noticed the guns held in most of the thugs' hands. The largest gave a rather sinister grin that was just about as clichéd as the white van as he cocked the gun, pointing it at Wally. "In the car, or the ginger gets it," he said.

Dick hesitated, blue eyes narrowing and face hardening as he considered his options. Obviously, the one who appeared to be leader noticed, and made a small gesture to someone standing behind Dick. Dick whirled around, only to have a rag shoved against his face. _Crap, _Dick repeated, trying not to breath. The thug holding the rag twisted Dick's arm cruelly behind his back, causing the boy to gasp. _Bruce is going to kill me, _Dick thought as the chemical smell entered his nose and he sank into blackness.

Wally leapt forward as Dick became limp, green eyes widening as adrenaline coursed through him. "Dick!" he shouted, trying to reach his best friend, only to be held back. He struggled, kicking backwards. He heard a grunt, and the grip around him loosened. Wally lunged forward, only to be whacked in the head by the butt of a gun. He collapsed quickly, unconsciousness overtaking him.

"What do we do with the ginger?" one man asked, kicking the teenager lightly as he spoke.

"Put him in the back with the other," the leader responded dismissively. "Maybe we'll get more that way."

The lackey nodded, tossing the teens roughly into the back. The van soon sped off, leaving only a few dots of blood behind as evidence.

* * *

Wally fought the urge to moan, continuing to act unconscious as he took in his surroundings. Apparently, he had been kidnapped along with Dick, and had been tossed unceremoniously into the back of the van. His hands were tied behind his back, but his feet weren't bound at all; Wally fought the urge to grin at that. Peering through squinted eyes, he noticed Dick was tied up as well, and was still unconscious. Or maybe he was acting, like Wally was. Wally noticed their kidnappers were seated up front, not really caring about their hostages as they drove.

Wally did grin at that; their mistake. He nudges Dick subtly with an elbow, and was rewarded to see Dick's fingers twitch slightly, meaning his friend was awake as well. Wally quickly noticed Dick's fingers counting down…probably until the time they should "wake up". _Five…four…three…two…one…_ Dick shot upright, blue eyes opening wide as he looked around wildly. Wally, noting how the side of his head was covered with dried blood, stirred groggily, moaning slightly as he "woke up". The moaning wasn't hard; he just had to think about the throbbing headache he had.

"Hey, boss! They're awake!" one of the thugs called, looking in the back. Dick's face settled into a glare as he met the man's gaze, and the thug quickly looked away. Dick smirked, and Wally grinned back. This would be fun.

"No duh," Dick retorted. "We've been awake for ten minutes now."

The thug's face flushed. "You're in the back! How am I supposed to know if you're awake or not?"

"You could look?" Wally suggested. Dick snickered, and Wally grinned. "Seriously, horrible kidnapping techniques, guys," he continued. "Chloroform and white vans? Seriously clichéd. Then you don't even pay attention to your hostages? That's…pathetic."

"Shut up!" The thug shouted, pointing a gun at them.

"Don't shoot, you idiot! We need them _alive _if we're gonna make money off of this!"

Dick and Wally started laughing silently, smirking at the thug in smug triumph. The thug's face flushed red with anger, and he growled. "Dale." the other man warned again. The thug – Dale, apparently – scowled, but put the gun down.

"We're calling the boss Chip," Wally said quietly to Dick. Dick snorted, looking thoroughly amused by all of this. "They didn't take up my emergency beacon," he noted in an undertone, his voice pitched specifically so the villains up front wouldn't hear.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Wally asked. "Use it!"

"Already done. But it'll take Bruce a while to get here, and even then he'll have to track us down," Dick whispered. "It may take a little while."

Wally groaned. "I'm hungry," he said loudly.

"Suck it up!" Dale shouted, scowling fiercely at the ginger, who glared right back.

"If you're going to kidnap us, the least you could do is bring food," Wally noted seriously. Dick rolled his eyes; leave it to Wally to mention food during a kidnapping.

"I…I think I'm getting carsick," Dick complained, his voice loud but weak. Wally, knowing Dick rarely ever got motion sick, tried not to grin. Yeah, this would be fun. "Oh, crap! Guys, you got any motion sickness pills up there? He's a distance puker," Wally said, a note of worry entering his voice.

"I swear, if you throw up in here-" Dale warned, leaving the threat hanging.

"I'm not going to do it on purpose!" Dick snapped back, a soft moan following the words as he curled into a ball. "I don't feel good," he said warningly.

"Don't throw up in the car!" Dale barked.

"Dale, shut up!"

"Yeah, Dale," Wally said. "Listen to Chip." He could feel Dick laughing silently beside him before he let out another false moan, followed by retching noises. "Crap. Dick, focus on breathing, okay? In, out. In, out. Like that, okay?" Wally said quickly.

Dale paled at the sounds of retching. "Yeah, focus on breathing. Not the car moving or anything."

"Idiot! He can't help but think about how the car is moving if you say the car is moving!" Wally snapped.

"Stop saying the car is moving!" Dick warned, gagging again. Wally wanted so badly to laugh at the expression on Dale's face. If only he had a camera…

"Are we there yet?" Wally asked, sounding exactly like a whining five-year-old. Wally smiled innocently as he noticed the vein beginning to twitch in Dale's forehead. Wally's irritating tendencies paired with Dick's acting skills tended to do that.

"Shut. Up," Dale hissed, finger tightening slightly on the trigger. That didn't go unnoticed by the boss, who growled. "Dale," he repeated in a colder tone. Dale immediately loosened his grip, though he continued to glare at the teens in the back. Dick just retched again in response, making Dale pale.

"Guys," Wally warned, staring at Dick. "He's gonna throw up…"

"We're here, okay? Just shut up, and don't puke!" Dale burst out as the car skidded to a halt.

"Good!" Wally said, brightening. "Can I use your bathroom? And maybe raid your fridge?"

Dick wished that his hands weren't tied behind his back, just so he could facepalm. Dale clambered into the back, glaring at the two teens as he pulled out strips of cloth. He easily blindfolded them, pulling back as Wally stuck his tongue out.

"Did you just _lick me?_" Dale asked in disbelief and disgust. He quickly wiped his hand on his pants, nose crinkling as he stared at the ginger. "Yeah…wish I hadn't though. I'm probably going to get a disease now or something," Wally said. Dick snorted; leave it to Wally.

"Listen, I've had just about enough of you two," Dale began. "If you don't-"

"Dale, just grab them and bring them inside!" the boss snapped, frustration clear in his voice; whether it was from Dale or his hostages though, no one was sure. Dale nodded, grabbing them. Dick, due to his height, was incredibly light; Wally was surprisingly light as well, thanks to his metabolism, so Dale had no problem dragging them inside.

"Where should I put them?"

"I don't care! Tie them to a chair or something!" the boss – Chip, as Wally now called him – snapped.

"Horrible kidnapping techniques," Wally repeated softly in a sing-song type voice.

"Shut up!" Dale growled, dropping them roughly on the ground. Though neither of the teens could see, it was quite obvious that another roll of duct tape had been pulled out, and Dale was in the process of tying Wally and Dick together. He shoved them roughly into a corner, deciding to leave their blindfolds on; no point in taking them off. Besides, the sarcastic, mocking looks they kept giving him were really, really irritating.

Dale stormed away, anger clear in his heavy steps. Dick snickered. "Best kidnapping ever," he remarked, pulling against the duct tape experimentally. It held firm, and Dick sighed. He knew he could get out of this easy…but that would cause quite a bit of suspicion. And he wasn't in any immediate danger; "Chip" had already said they needed him alive. So…he would just have to stay tied up. Instead of letting this bug him, and evil grin formed on Dick's face. This would be fun.

Wally's stomach growled loudly. "I seriously need food, Dick," he remarked softly.

"Can you reach my pocket?" Dick asked.

Wally wiggled his hands, trying to move them slightly. "Uh, I think so. Why?"

"I stole a candy bar out of your room," Dick remarked, a smirk clear in his voice.

"Dude!" Wally cried indignantly.

"Don't complain!" Dick said. "I don't know how you would possibly get it to your mouth, but feel free to try," he said with a slight shrug.

"You're the ninja," Wally retorted. "Think of something."

"Wally, how am _I_ supposed to get it into _your _mouth?"

The ginger paused. "Point taken," he admitted. He carefully grabbed the candy bar, slipping it out of Dick's pocket slowly…well, as slowly as a speedster could. He paused, trying to think of how to get it into his mouth. Even if he had Robin's mad ninja skills, he couldn't do it. His shoulders slumped and he let out a small sigh of defeat.

"I…don't think I can reach my mouth," Wally admitted.

"That's probably because your hands are tied behind your back," Dick said with a grin. Wally was glaring behind his blindfold. "Thanks," he said sarcastically. "Never would've guessed."

A few minutes passed, which felt like forever to Wally. Trying to find _something _to occupy his mind, he started humming. Recognizing the tune, Dick raised an eyebrow. "Really, Wally?" he asked.

"Hey!" Wally said defensively. "Practically everyone knows it!"

He resumed humming, then switched to softly singing the lyrics.

"_On the road, far from home,_

_You don't have to feel alone."_

"Sinnoh region?" Dick asked curiously. Wally grinned at the fact that his friend knew that. "Yep," he responded, then resumed singing softly, Dick joining in.

"_Brave and strong,_

_Together we will be._

_It's our destiny."_

The teens were grinning as the broke into the chorus, their voices gradually growing louder.

"_We will be heroes._

_We can change the world if we try._

_I go where you go._

_Forever friends, you and I._

_We will be heroes._

_Battle dimension, Pokémon!_

Wally and Dick couldn't help but burst out laughing, even as Dale rushed into the room. "Shut up! No more car sickness, no more insults, and _no more Pokémon!" _he shouted.

Wally was outraged. "What do you have against Pokémon?" he asked huffily. "It's _classic!"_

"Seriously, Wally?" Dick asked.

"Hey! You sang the theme song too!" Wally pointed out defensively.

"…Touché."

"Just shut up!" Dale shouted before storming away yet again. Wally grinned, glad he and Dick were tied back to back. He tapped his hand lightly against Dick's in a semi "high five".

"Which one should we sing next?" Dick asked. Wally grinned and started humming. "Got it," Dick said with a nod. "Let's do it."

"_It's a battle, win it or lose,_

_It's the friends you make,_

_It's the road you choose._

_We've got the right stuff,_

_So make your mind up,_

_And find the courage inside of you!_

_If you're strong you'll survive_

_And you'll keep your dreams alive._

_It's a battle frontier,_

_Pokémon!_

_Be the best you can be _

_And find your destiny._

_It's the master plan._

_The powers in your hands._

_Pokémon!"_

Wally and Dick finished, both of them laughing once again. Dale was shouting at them again. "I said no more Pokémon!" he shrieked, seeming close to a mental breakdown. That, of course, only made Wally and Dick laugh harder.

"You heard him," Dick managed to get out between laughs, "No more Pokémon."

The boys burst into another song that was, technically, not Pokémon.

"_I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,_

_Everybody's nerves,_

_Everybody's nerves!_

_I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,_

_And this is how it goes!"_

"No!" Dale shrieked. "Not that one either! No singing, no talking, no whispering! Just. Shut. Up!"

"We're rebellious teenage boys," Dick pointed out. "What makes you think we'll listen?"

Wally grinned, and the two burst out in song again.

"_I wanna be the very best  
Like no one ever was  
To catch them is my real test  
To train them is my cause_

_I will travel across the land_  
_Searching far and wide_  
_Each Pokémon to understand_  
_The power that's inside_

_Pokémon, it's you and me_  
_I know it's my destiny_  
_Pokémon, oh, you're my best friend_  
_In a world we must defend_  
_Pokémon, a heart so true_  
_Our courage will pull us through_

_You teach me and I'll teach you_  
_Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all!"_

If he could see, Dick was sure Dale's face would be bright red, and that little vein in his forehead would be sticking out again.

"Pikachu," Wally began.

"I choose you!" Dick finished with a grin.

* * *

The police finally arrived, but it was Bruce and Barry who rushed in first. They were met by a rather interesting sight; one thug was yelling at the other, who seemed to be having a mental breakdown, while Dick and Wally repeatedly sang "It's A Small World".

"Make it stop," one thug pleaded. "First it was Pokémon, now this." Tears were actually in his eyes as he collapsed to his knees in front of Barry and Bruce. Bruce, though not in costume, gave the thug a very effective Batglare.

Wally and Dick just continued to sing, stifling laughs every now and then. "I vote the song that never ends next," Dick said suddenly. Wally grinned and started singing. _"It's the song that never ends…" _he began, but was cut off as Barry knelt in front of him, tugging on the duct tape. Barry couldn't help but wonder if the two were drugged; they were certainly acting like it. Barry then noticed the dried blood caked into Wally's ginger hair, and his blue eyes narrowed. "You okay, kid?" he asked.

"Uncle Barry!" Wally said cheerfully.

"Hi, Uncle Barry!" Dick chirped from behind Wally. "Bruce here?" Bruce, after finishing his glaring session with his son's kidnappers, walked over quickly, kneeling in front of Dick and pulling down the blindfold. Dick grinned. Bruce raised an eyebrow, looking back at the kidnappers curiously. "What did you do?"

"You mean to Chip and Dale?" Wally asked, glancing back at the thugs with amused green eyes. "We introduced them to Pokémon."

Bruce looked at Dick, somewhat confused and a bit apprehensive about what exactly had happened. Dick shrugged, smiling innocently as Dale curled up into a ball behind him. "We got a bit bored, that's all."

"Dude, you were drugged, and I was whacked in the head! How were you _bored?"_ Wally asked in disbelief.

Bruce's eyes narrowed. "You were drugged?" he repeated, a warning note in his voice. Dick glared at Wally. "It was just a tiny bit of chloroform! It wasn't like that one time, where…" Dick swallowed, realizing this probably wasn't helping Bruce's DaddyBats mode. "Nevermind," he said quickly.

Bruce frowned, but didn't respond, working on untying him. Finally, the duct tape was removed, Dick standing up eagerly. Wally didn't bother standing, instead unwrapping the candy bar and shoving it in his mouth, chewing eagerly. Incoherent words of pleasure slipped out as he swallowed, the whole thing gone in under five seconds.

Barry let out an impressed whistle. "I think that's a new record, kid," he commented. Wally grinned, standing up as he wiped his fingers on his jeans.

"So, can Dick come over again next week?" he asked eagerly, green eyes wide and pleading. Dick immediately joined in, blue eyes practically impossible to resist as he stared at Bruce. Barry's heart immediately melted into a pile of mush (Dick's puppy dog eyes did that to most people) but Bruce frowned. "Dick-"

"Please?" Dick asked, drawing out the "e" sadly as tears welled up in his eyes. Bruce couldn't help but hesitate. "We'll see," he finally said, resolve crumbling quickly. Dick's face lit up, and he grinned at Wally.

The two cheerfully walked out, humming Pokémon theme songs under their breath as Dale sobbed.

* * *

**A/N **First off, sorry if it shows there is a 2nd chapter, and sorry that the AN is different than it first was. I ran into some technical difficulties...grr. That will be fixed hopefully soon. Anywho...

Was it crack? Yes, yes it was. However, it _was_ still really fun to write. And I can see them doing this. ^^

Reviews are greatly appreicated!


End file.
